Compassion It is interesting to note how compassion first came into my life. In this particular case I first had the experience before I ever had a mental understanding of what compassion is. In retrospect that might have been a blessing. I will tell you my story. I remember at the time I was attending a workshop given by Krijn Koetsveld. Krijn to me was a fascinating man. The first time I met him I was so confused. Cause I could not tell if he was Merlin or Krijn. To me he actually even looked like Merlin with his long hair and his beard. I remember the first time I went to a workshop of his. We were sitting with this group in the attic of a house that he had rented. And we were all sitting in a circle on the ground. And Krijn asked us to feel the energies in the room. So I did. I felt the atmosphere (the non tangible/non physical energy) in the room. And then this man raised his hands and held them next to his body, his hands held outwards palms facing to the sides. And I could feel how in an instant the entire energies in the room changed. As he was raising the vibratory levels.

The energy in the room all of sudden felt thick almost tangibly thick and filled with a warmth and love that was not there before. I was so amazed by this feat. I thought to myself: “Wow this is so cool ! I hope that by the end of this workshop I can do that too!”. Back to the topic though of how compassion first came into my life. At the time I was doing a workshop with Krijn which he called the ‘Shekinah’. The Shekinah is the divine feminine energy. The story goes that when earth was first created. A portion of the cosmic divine feminine energy came to earth to bring life to this planet. And that this earthly Shekinah now resides in the very core of our planet. In this particular workshop we did an initiation/exercise to connect with this energy. I will describe what I experienced and the events that followed this particular experience. We were all sitting in a circle. As Krijn invited the Shekinah energy to rise from the core of the earth. I could feel just how very expanded this energy was.

As it started to rise from the earth I could feel it was as wide as the entire earth itself. It came up slowly and at a steady pace. Making its way up entering my body through my feet. I could feel this very intense tingling sensation as it started to rise through each part of my body. Slowly making its way to the top of my head. Where it flowed out of my body up into the cosmos. The funny thing is that I could feel this energy even as it left my body and was rising up all the way to what felt as the center of the cosmos. This is where it reconnected with the divine cosmic shekinah as if they re-united. And from that point it slowly came down again in this new united form. Making its way back down to us. As the energy entered my body again I could feel the new intensity of this energy. It was much more intense this time. And when it reached my heart, my heart started pounding. I could feel my heartbeat throbbing in my throat. It was as if my heart opened. And I had this feeling that I just had to let it out.

 I had to express it in some way, I had the feeling I would explode if I did not speak. And the words that came out of my mouth where the following: "I AM the Alpha and the Omega I AM the Light and the Dark I AM the ALL United in ONE" This is the first time I channeled. And I could feel such a tremendous expansion. It was as if I was looking down upon the people in the room, including myself and everything just seemed so small. I remember being amused by it all. The whole situation. How we were sitting there as humans and how we forgot who we truly are. In retrospect I can only describe it as an experience of cosmic consciousness. And words are to limited to express how it felt. So hopefully you can feel beyond the words as you read this message. I remember sitting in the train home.

The train was still at the station and there was some time before it would depart. I saw this man on the platform of the station. He was dressed impeccably in this beautiful white suit as if it was tailor made for him. He was wearing a tall white hat and he had a beautiful black walking cane decorated with what seemed to be solid gold. I remember looking at him and thinking to myself how out of place he looked. As if he wasn’t even human but just took on a body for a while to be among us for a fleeting moment. He appeared out of sight as he was boarding the train. And a few moments later this man was standing next to me. He looked me in the eyes took of his hat and nodded. While we continued to look each other in the eyes. I felt a moment of recognition as if he confirmed my suspicion. He put on his hat again smiled knowingly and walked away. I was to surprised to ask him anything. And he was gone before I had the chance to. I saw him walk back on the platform and he faded out of sight as he walked away and the train drove off. A few things changed though after this experience. I could really notice it about two weeks later.

I was on the subway as I came back from school. At the time I was studying Communication in Rotterdam. I was daydreaming a bit and just staring out of the window. There was this homeless person standing on the platform of the underground station. And I was looking at him. At one point he looked back. And the moment our eyes met. I could feel this tremendous wave of love flowing through my entire being. The wave of love was so big that it gave me goose bumps. I was so surprised by this sudden sensation. That it almost felt as if I was doing something wrong. I was used to feeling sorry for homeless people. And now all of a sudden I felt this tremendous wave of love. This really confused me. But after a while I let it go and stopped thinking about it. I think it was two days later or it might have been the same day. And I was watching television. They were reporting about this war that was going on. I think it was the war in Iraq. They were showing all the soldiers, the wounded, the people of the land and the tremendous devastation and suffering. And the same thing that happened on the train happened again. I could feel this tremendous wave of love wash over me and through me. It wasn’t a sensation of love like being in love with someone. It was so much grander.

It was a love that knows no limitations or boundaries. A love that is all encompassing. And each time I could feel it, it would just give me goose bumps and make the hair on my body stand up. So I started to notice a pattern. Each time I saw human suffering. I could feel this tremendous love flow through me. This was new to me. And I remembered the Shekinah initiation. I started to enjoy what I felt instead of feeling guilty for not being sorry. Because on some level I could feel it was appropriate. This is how compassion first came into my life. Later the understanding of what compassion is came. I looked up the definition of compassion in the dictionary, this is what it said: “a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them” I have to say that I do not share this perspective.

For me compassion never is and never was about feeling sorry for others. Nor is it about the wish to help another. Seeing others as victims and judging them for their experience comes from a very limited perspective, a perspective that neglects our true nature. You are god also…. For me compassion is very much about honoring the other for the experience they choose to have. It is about an acceptance and love that is beyond the comprehension of the human mind. Seeing and feeling the expression of god in every human and in every circumstance.

The knowingness that this human, this being, that god is not broken. That everything is in perfection. That all is well in all of creation. And that what I perceive when I see others suffer, is just consciousness having an experience. An experience that on some level this conscious being chooses to have. The wisdom of my soul, the wisdom of my grander being knows this. It is a knowingness that is beyond the mind. And for me compassion is never mental. It is a feeling, it is an experience, it is a part of who I in deepest essence am. And I can feel it as tremendous waves of love flowing through me and washing over me. For me compassion is all about seeing the god in the other. And the knowingness deep within that this being chose to have this experience. And not only accepting that. But honoring them for it. Feeling the love from the god in me for the god in the other. Honoring them for their grandness and the experience they chose to have.