something much deeper than poor human judgment is at work. I will speak of this in a minute, but for now let’s stay with your struggle. One explanation for your dilemma is that you are really more than just one person, and that your various parts often operate in conflict with one another. Sometimes an inner struggle takes on the proportions of a civil war, creating literal inner hell. These conflicts can generate considerable internal damage and lead to emotional problems like depression or the physical breakdown we know as disease. Your inner self is not being contrary. It is just that she holds a different perspective on life than you do. If a child you felt unloved for example, she will hold a view of herself, life and the world that is skewed. A 3 year old does not have the capacity to sort out that her mother has repressed sexual issues and that her father was never encouraged to openly express his emotions. All a child knows is that she hurts and that the love that she needs isn’t there. And then, she makes what I call THE FATAL STEP, which every child takes. She says, “The love that I need isn’t here, there must be something wrong with me.” And in that moment, the downward spiral begins. She has come to believe that the difficulties were either created by her or that they were created in response to her. She will not realize that she is just an innocent child caught in a dysfunctional situation. All she knows is that something – and she won’t know what – is wrong with her. Instead of remaining with the family situation where it was created, the dysfunction is now a part of her. She has come to believe that the problem was at least in part, created by who she was. Since she was in some way responsible for what happened, she will then carry her defectiveness with her wherever she goes. Thus she will be driven to compensate for her failings as she grows up and moves out into the world. This will inhibit her ability to be free in life and requires that she take defensive measures in order to protect herself. She will be isolated from her passion, from her power, from her self-confidence. Making the situation even more difficult is that the injured inner one who holds the defective attitudes is hard-wired into the adult’s power. She can pretty much do as she pleases and there isn’t a lot the adult can do about it. So today, you want to take a risk and she panics. You want to become intimate with someone and she is overwhelmed by the fear of being rejected. You want to deal with your inner pain and she fears the kind of overwhelm that she felt when she was a child. You want to be