If you would know what enlightenment, liberation or awakening exactly is, what would it mean to you? Would it be of any help? Knowing the result, without knowing how to the math, for sure wouldn't be enough. So you have to do the math on your own. And first there is a first step that has to be done. Sapere aude! Said Kant.

But there is nothing impossible which is requested from you. You are just very, very confused and afraid, entangled in the thoughts since you knew for your self, so nothing seems to be clear for you. To be honest you have no idea who you are. Even if you have asked that question you have ended with some concepts given form someone else. And those concepts might have been helpful for some time, giving you seemingly firm point, but not for too long. And how it could be?

How everything started in the first place?

As far as you know, with your birth. Then begun the story; you have been launched into the human, life drama. But in some moment you had enough of that drama in which you play main role, but not with your will and without influence on the scenario. You didn’t see the meaning of it all, and meaning should be in it, at least that was your reasoning. 

So you wanted to step out of it in some real world, into the light. You became seeker, seeker for the way out. How it looks like - that real world - you don’t know, but you are sure that such world has to exist, world which is quite fit for you, exact reflection of your longing for it.

So you entered the world of spirituality which should have been some sort of the bridge toward that perfect world.   And there you got the information how that perfect world looks like, and what is more important – how you could come there. And that mysterious way as you came to know implied you change. Your adjustment to that world for which you might have been told that already is present here and now, but you can not perceived it, because you don’t satisfy its conditions.So you begin with lots of different praxis’s and methods, which lead to that glorious state, mostly known (but not exclusively) as enlightenment, liberation or awakening. On that way you experienced lots of chances and mischance’s and it seemed to you that you really change. More or less in accordance with what has been told you how it should be. But, sooner or later, you notice how your aim always stays out of your reach, admit it or not. You begin to feel as if you are standing in front of the wall, or as if you are chasing your tail. Which is not such a good feeling. Let’s suppose that you are honest with yourself and that you don’t want to impose upon yourself so you make an honest examination. 

Are you doing something wrongly?

Maybe you don’t follow the directions of your teacher, your school or teaching in  right way? Or maybe you just need little more patience and give some more time to all that. And you continue with your way. In dream of course.

But where is the problem?
You want to wake up, to know your self, or however you call it in your terminology! Problem is that you don’t exist! And never did. And it is not a mistake. You have read this rightly.

 So, your problem didn’t begin with your birth, i.e. with the birth of your body.

Problem begun when you started identification with body-mind, that means with the thoughts and senses which accompanied functioning of this system and begun to create the story of “your” self ad “your” world.

Than you begun to feel that something was wrong and embarked into the search for the meaning and resolution of the problem. Search which is still going on – now, in this moment itself.

And you can’t believe that you don’t exist. But that is the fact. So, no need to believe. Just to look for yourself. Everyone can and needs to see it for himself/herself. Of course doesn’t have to. Everyone can continue “his/he” own way. But let’s suppose that those words aroused some interest in you. Something in you, although faintly, has resounded. And you think: but of course that I exist. My name is so and so, I work this and that, and you continue to name all you think you know about your self.

Ok, I am not body, I am something more, I am the one that inhabits this body, I am the soul that thinks all those thoughts. Famous sentence – I think, therefore I am!

And thoughts go one, by one. But there are just thoughts. Nothing else. Suppose you begin to understand and become aware of the experience here and now. And “there” you seek and try to find arguments for your existence. So, you are just sitting in front of the computer and reading this text. But the fact is - that there is a body that sits, eyes looking, brain processing what has been read; thoughts and feelings come and go again. Experience which contains everything and there is nothing outside of it  Mind fence itself from unpleasant truth – that there is no need for the experiencer behind the experience. That there is none who is controlling this experience and directing it according to his will.

But after focused moment of attention, it becomes obvious. Perspective is forever changed.

And if you have collected enough courage for that first step, you have already stepped on the way with no return!