Forgiveness is usually defined as an action of ceasing to be mad or hurt at someone that has caused pain and suffering upon another. It is basically a reaction toward the wrong doing of another. The one who is not able to forgive is often stuck in resentment, anger, hurt and pain and demands a punishment of some form or an apology from the other person. The benefits of forgiveness are clear and realized by many including Doctors and Psychologists, but how does one truly forgive? Do we forgive the person or the action? Some Masters have shown us the path of forgiveness by finding compassion with the other understanding that they did not know what they were doing or they would have done different. That is a way and a valid one, but from my experience and observation we are still seeing a “wrong” doing on the behalf of another. Even if we think we have forgiven the pain is not gone. Anyone can say they have forgiven but as long as a wrong done to us is within our consciousness the memory will continue to hunts us every now and then. The worst thing is, that should a similar experience occur again we build a belief of being a victim, which creates more experiences of being a victim. So how do you forgive and move on without carrying that pain or anger around you? Is there a way to completely pull the tree by it’s root? Yes there is.

To forgive, one has to change one’s perspective…that’s all. The lacking ability to forgive others stems from a lack of loving one’s self. If you truly loved yourself as you may think you do, you would see that EVERY experience has made you who you are today. And you would rejoice in that experience and love it and see it as a necessary tool to get you where you are today. You would not be the person you are today if you took but one of your experiences out of your life.

Now you may not like the person you are today and still blame others for being the way you are, but that too is a perspective and you are the seer and the creator of that perspective. You are in truth a beloved glorious child of God in which God sees no fault, no imperfection and by changing your perspective you would see it too.

I remember a time where I thought I had a lack of abundance until a friend pointed out to me how much hair I have on my head. I have enough hair to cover three heads. I also have four children where as others would be happy if they could have but one. My point here is that I did have abundance but I simply wasn’t seeing it. You too have not only great qualities within you that are worthy of love and I will show you in order to prove I what I say to you is true.. Make a list of 10 people in your life. This could include friends, family members or people you work with. Write down what you love about them….find something. Now look at that list. Do you know that you could not see something in someone else if it were not a part of you? What we see in others is but a reflection of who we truly are. Look again at that list and see if these same qualities are not also within you. They are there but you just had not become aware of them yet.

And as you see them, ask yourself: Did not every experience I ever experienced lead me to become who I am today? Can we then truly say someone did us wrong if a blessing came out of it? No, there is only love but sometimes we need to look beyond the appearance of things, take a look through God’s eyes to see a bigger picture. As long as we think we need to forgive anything….we have it all wrong.