Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I did receive, and read, the wedding ceremony you sent me. It is important to consider what is being said at your service, especially the vows made. We all know how easily and disastrously human beings break their promises. Be assured, a spiritual perspective of the ceremony does allow humanity to mirror a committed satisfying marriage, blessed by what you call Christ. And, here is my input for consideration.

Your wedding vows include the statement, “Friends…The covenant of marriage was established by God, who created us male and female for each other.” Honestly, this wording is outdated. The covenant of marriage was established by human beings, not by God.


A forward-looking vow is, “Friends…The covenant of marriage was established by inspired humanity as an opportunity to be God-like, to be ‘male and female.’” (Gen. 1:27) Successful marriages indicate spiritual oneness and an ever advancing love. There is a mutual respect of each person’s wholeness. This understanding even removes the naive pun about a “better half” because we are not half a person needing each other.


Wasted promises and failed marriages come from the classic mistake of presuming Adam and Eve are our parents instead of God. Identifying people with neediness is a downward spiral game where everyone loses. Basically, the story of Adam and Eve was given only as a learning tool for humanity, to jolt consciousness alive to the fact of spiritual completeness, love, and unity. We are spiritual beings, created by God, Spirit. Spiritual beings already exist as stated in the first chapter of Genesis.


Throughout history, the status-quo of marriage has been over-rated and therefore, undermined. A relationship can’t be validated by the assumption we are male or female, requiring a mate. Marriage is not the source of faithfulness, spiritual unity and growth. Matrimony is an instrument by which we can demonstrate faithfulness, family, forgiveness, and happiness. And absolutely, a single person who decides not to marry is also completely capable to demonstrate and feel family, love, and goodness by means of some other instrument such as work or hobby. Christ Jesus said, “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” (Mark 12:25) Do we want to be dead? Or, do we want to be alive? Do we believe, and furthermore act as though, the resurrection happened on this plane of existence?


It can’t be said in one breath that a marriage is Christian, and yet in another breath said that people are male or female created for each other. Christ is spiritual being. Effort is made to be like Christ whether single or partnered. Christian relationships can’t be restricted to the human invention of marriage. Your Christ must be inclusive, ongoing, big, in order to truly bless your marriage.


The big picture is required to be seen. Paul wrote, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal. 3:28) This was said again to jolt consciousness awake to the fact that people can’t join together the base characteristics of chauvinism, sexism, weakness, and emotionalism pigeonholed to sexuality. The negative qualities we pin on males or females need to fade because they are no part of Christ. The positive images exhibited by people—whether defined as male or female—are reflected by each of us. The united goodness God established can never be separated by mortals no matter how hard we try with divorce, division, and hate.


See your wedding ceremony as secondary to God’s ever advancing love which does hold us all in oneness and faith. We are each complete and joined together as an expression of infinite Being. Spiritual consideration will continue. Words will be renewed. Promises will be kept. Character will improve. Good habits will be secured. Love will be known indescribable. That is God’s covenant with us. Commit to Love and be committed to one another.