I counsel women around the globe on how to attract men. These women, who are struggling so hard with relationships, want me to tell them what to do. Many of them have lost any belief in themselves. They've lost faith in their ability to distinguish the right man from the wrong man. They've lost the sparkle in their eyes and the once-ready smile on their lips. They've lost everything but a desperate desire to be loved and be saved.

Do you ever feel that way?

Do you ever feel like you're drowning, and nothing will save you but a man's strong and loving arms?

Do you ever feel like you're so TIRED of being strong, so TIRED of being responsible, and so TIRED of bearing the weight of the world that you just want to rest your burdens on someone else's shoulders?

To have someone to rely on, to lift you up when you don't feel strong, to cook you dinner when you're not feeling well, to snuggle up to in bed at night and confess the dark secrets of your day?

Of course you do.

We ALL do.

There's nothing "wrong" with wanting a man's love.

There's not even anything wrong with "needing" a man's love.

We all want love. We all need love. And, in our culture, romantic love is put on a pedestal as the highest form of love (along with a parent's love for their child) expressible in our world.

So there's no need to judge yourself for yearning for romantic connection. It's okay to admit to yourself that you are not happy being alone and that you want to find your "Mr. Right."

But there are a few things you should know first.

The Truth about Love

A man is not going to save you. He is not going to take away all your burdens and bear them away on his broad shoulders.

A man is not going to fix you. The problems you have right now in your life will still be there.

A man is not going to pretend you're perfect. No one is perfect. He's not perfect, and you're not perfect, and your relationship will not be perfect. Perfection is not a requirement for love.

What a man WILL want from you is a commitment to being the best person you can be and working through your issues. Be at ease with your flaws and continue polishing away your rough edges. Remember: it's just as easy to love the work in progress as it is to love the finished masterpiece.

A relationship is not going to suddenly make everything "fine." In fact, getting into a relationship will dredge up new issues: how to set boundaries, how to manage responsibilities equally, how to deal with one another's moods, how to balance personal space with couple time, how to deal with in-laws and each other's friends….

A relationship is not going to make you feel better about yourself. Self-esteem is, literally, the relationship YOU have with yourself. A boyfriend, husband or lover cannot give you self-esteem. He can support you in seeing yourself in a new way, but he cannot change what goes on in your mind. Often, it's negative self-talk that tears down confidence and makes us doubt ourselves. Keep your self-esteem strong independent of circumstances, and you'll feel good about yourself even when a man is not around to compliment you.

A relationship cannot guarantee you eternal love. Many of us get into relationships because we want to know that we will be loved now and always. We want our partner to love us like our parents did (or we wish they did): absolutely, unconditionally, and eternally. We want assurance that we will never be forsaken. We want to know that we will always come first in our partner's life.

But that's not how romantic love works on this human plane.

Don't Require Eternal Love from Mortal Men

If you want the eternal, look to Divine love. Divine love embraces us unconditionally. Nothing we can do can drive it away. We are one with the Divine, now and always, and all we have to do to know its truth is to return to that still place deep inside.

Romantic love, on the other hand, is all-too-often wrapped up in ego. Its nature is seasonal: burning hot then going cold. A love that we felt would last forever withers in the dying days of summer, but here's the secret: There is no reason to mourn its "loss." It will come again. Like the spring, love will always return to warm the heart.

I worry that all-too-many women believe that there is only one kind of love that is worthwhile: the kind that commences in marriage and ends only in death.

To me, that disparages the numerous forms that Eros takes in this world. Love is a multifaceted, ever-changing thing. Its mere presence is gift enough. Love does not have to last forever to be worthy of celebration.

There's nothing wrong with love that shines like a bright beam, lighting up the universe, and then goes dark. How could love be any less beautiful for being short-lived? Do you think it's some failure in you, that the light didn't shine for longer? Of course not! The truest love is love that is free, not bound to society's conventional expressions, not forced into a shape that doesn't suit it.

How to Find Mr. Right Faster

If YOU are searching for love … if you are one of the many gorgeous, strong, sexy women who are single out of circumstance, not out of choice … if you are seeking information about how you can speed up the arrival of Mr. Right in your life … then please listen to this.

The best way you can hurry up Mr. Right is by loving.

Send love to everyone and anyone.

Send love to yourself. Send love to your family. Send love to your enemies. Send love to your hairdresser, bus driver, and barista. Be indiscriminate with your love. Don't save it for him.

Take every opportunity to experience love. Play with a child. Pet a cat. Watch birds flying across the sky. Hug your best friend. Feel the love deeply. Let it sink into your bones.

And Mr. Right will come.

Mr. Right cannot resist authentic, generous love. He can't resist love that comes without conditions. He can't resist the siren call of feminine truth.

Because the essence of you, as a woman, is love. That's all it is. That's what he responds to. That's what his essence, as a man, yearns for.

And when you unite, you'll know why true love cannot be captured or bottled or trapped or tied down.

Because "true love" is not a person. It's a way of being in the world. It's a way of being together.

BE love, and you will find your heart's desire.