The cheat-code to the ONENESS is inner Respect. 

The cheat code is a key to freebie*.

*I am blue in thick spots all over  and proud of it. (Adam Lennard)

Self-esteem is comprehension that human being has a right for own thoughts, desires, needs, dreams, fears and  all the borders of personal space – self-dignity – has a right to BE HIMSELF*.
When we respect others’ rights  for  their  experience – our self- dignity automatically builds up.
I understand, that now you’re getting your experience and I don’t intend to interfere to correct or control your actions, feelings, decisions – because you HAVE A RIGHT TO GO THROUGH (live) YOUR EXPERIENCE IN YOUR INDIVIDUAL WAY (by your desires, fears, decisions and so on). If I try to impose you my desires, fears and decisions then I’ll deprive you of your experience and you’ll have to live it through again. I find no sense in interfering, if only you ask me  for help personally, but even then… I will try not to do for you what you can do, understand and conscious yourself… I will try to help you to realize and comprehend everything  not interfering into your actions.

When borders  of self-dignity are absent, the person defines it`s desires, fears, dreams and needs (defines  ITSELF*) by the way of other people saying “NO” to him.  He provokes “others” to determine their  borders of self-dignity, in this way helping  him to  define his desires and fears. When the person  experiences displeasure and irritation, offences and depressions by interaction with other people – he  understands –  I AM HERE! Now, I understand what I DO NOT WANT!

The Person:
But then I find a strong need to understand what I really  WANT. So, I again  needs to strike myself against other people’s Refusal. I think… what should I do? I should provoke them. It means show them disrespect to their borders of  self-dignity. Go and shit in the middle of the room or give someone offense and make  them to throw me out of their inner Space*. Why? Because  at the moment of falling to the ground  from their “ Magic kick” I understand.. – Thank youuuu!!! I have understood what I did NOT* Wa-a-a-ant.
And falling to the ground you ask yourself  again: So, what do I WANT ?

And here we go again!
And It may turn up that it isn`t  your true desire  because it may come out of pain.
So the starting point is  SELF-RESPECT – self-dignity and ability to understand that every human being has  its set of desires, fears and needs and different people go through one and the same situation differently – getting  their  own personal experience.

If there is no self-Respect,  the person  literally throw bricks at passersby  making  them to express  aggression upon him to help him to understand what desires and needs he has and who he is –  to define himself. 
If you are not able to understand who you are and what you are sitting  in your room completely alone – you have to provoke others – to define yourself in the process of falling to the ground from their  magic  kicks: What a strange  animal am I that I always need  to  kick against the pricks*?
I kick against the pricks* = thanks to others’ aggression, the person without self-respect can understand himself better.
Without self-respect the  sincerity and direct openness of person turn into rude, scorn and breaking others’  self-dignity borders as a natural process of understanding himself.
For such people comprehending is defined by agreement with them. If they are told “NO” – they could see  that the others didn`t  understand them. But to agree and  to understand are different things. You can understand the person, but also you can deny to do some things he tells you.    
*Inner Respect  and self- dignity which is defined without interaction of any determinative  element (others’ reactions to yourself or own taboos) – allow to define your true self.

Al_Neiro – helps  human to learn how to define itself being eye to eye with itself, not by the  outside  boundaries or inside taboos. 

 (Nataliia Severska (Allayae)